One of the writers of The Rules got married…
The groom Lance Houpt on one of his first dates with Ellen Fein:
He added: “When you go to these singles weekends, some people are a little too intense, a little too desperate. Ellen was light and breezy.” (She was following one of her books’ directives that women should emulate a summer breeze, not a tornado, when they are around men they like.)
Sounds positively dreamy.
On their engagement:
“By the time we got engaged, we’d been together three years,” she said. “He did take me to a restaurant and get down on one knee. I was really embarrassed. We’re really old.”
I thought the point was to have the whole huge proposal and wedding. I’m so confused.
All snippets via the NYTimes.
Something about this NYTimes piece rubbed me the odd way. (Yes, I meant it that way.) My friend sent me this link to the latest Salon Broadsheet in which Rebecca Traister basically sets it all right out there.
OK. So for those of you following along: Selecting a food to eat on a date because you have calculated that ordering it (provided that you are thin) will give the impression that you do not have food issues? That’s a food issue.
Since when is it so lame to order a salad. And if someone is not going to date you because you’re a vegetarian then move on. Of course, this is all easy for me to say, perhaps, but I have not heard of any broken up relationships over someone’s reluctance to order a burger, let alone a gourmet burger.
Or maybe it’s just August and there ain’t much to write about. Because, you know, it summer and all and I’m busy trying to be dainty yet not picky at the same time.
Maybe I should reread The Rules.
The overlying point here seems to be if you want a date, you can’t be yourself. Because what if you really, really want chicken? Then what the eff do you do?
Can’t even do online dating yourself. Found on craigslist:
I am looking for a person to help me find a perfect woman. Do you want to earn $15 an hour searching Match.com for me for a partner? I would like you to perform a targeted Match.com search under my ID, send an introduction note and reply to the responses. I will give you my search criteria and you will do the work for me. I am not sure how many hours it will take you, but I will guarantee a minimum of 25 hours, once I see your work. It could go on much longer if I like the results. I am able to see your progress and will work with you as we go on. I am able to spend 3 hours a night and do not make a dent in the woman in our area. Let me know if you are up to it. Send me an example of a sample message, so I can get an idea of your style. It doesn’t have to be about me. You could tell me if you have had any experience doing something like this. I am a good guy, who just doesn’t have the time to do the searching. I will pay you via PayPal, so you can be sure to get paid. We can set-up a payment plan that suits you.
And getting what she wants…
I found myself accepting his Friday invitation for a Saturday brunch date (against Rule 7) and his last-minute invitations for two more dates that same weekend (a clear violation of Rule 13). We split the bill every time (there goes Rule 4). I got into the habit of phoning him regularly (so much for Rule 5).
I even brought up the topic of marriage (bye-bye, Rule 17) after we had been together for close to a year. “I’m afraid to say the M word to you,” I said, spurred on by a friend’s recent engagement. “I’ve been taught that it’s supposed to come from the guy.”
He smiled sheepishly and said. “I’ve been trying to wait until your birthday to propose, which hasn’t been easy, but …”
From here. Go click before the NYTimes makes it TimesSelect…damn them!
It’s good to know that making fun of and a fool out of The Rules is still considered fun!
from the pro-abstinence crowd aptly titled Saying I love you without having sex.
Here are some of their suggestions:
- Go for a walk or a jog
- Visit parks, museums, zoos, historical sites
- Limit physical signs of affection
- Have a debate about something you don’t see eye to eye on
- Discuss each other’s values
I think these ideas will be very, very helpful for kids to try and avoid sex.
I’m NOT being sarcastic at ALL.
NO NOT AT ALL.
HILARIOUS story in the NYTimes about dating and apartments:
All these things have proved detriments to love, but none so effectively as his sheets. Mr. Podell likes the ones from the ’60s and ’70s that tell a story: sheets with intergalactic battles or pink hippopotami or the Beatles. Since these are no longer available in adult-bed sizes, Mr. Podell’s sheets are now 30 to 40 years old. The fading is such that a person who saw one in a Salvation Army bin, having lost everything she owned in a fire, would remind herself that there was no reason to be desperate. The fading, however, was apparently not the reason that the sheets became a deal breaker.
“I was dating this very nice woman, I thought,” says Mr. Podell. “I was ready and she was ready to do the big deed. I take her to my apartment, go into the bedroom, and fling back the sheets, and she said, ‘My husband had these sheets and he was a mean-hearted son of a bitch and you must be like him and I’m leaving.’ ”
Don’t talk to a man first (and don’t ask him to dance)
Never? Not even “lets have a coffee,” or “Do you come here often?” Right, not even these seemingly harmless openers. Otherwise, how will know if spotted you first, was smitten by you and had to have you, or is just being polite?
Seriously!?! Seriously.
Tonight in Barnes & Nobles, I found what the book I have been looking for awhile. I’ve wanted to dissect for SOME TIME ever since it debuted in 1996.
The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Obviously, I never followed these rules.
Expect many funny posts to come!